HITLER ALIVE Swaggot 11/12/26(Thu)01:44:05 No.5879 0

EXTRA: HITLER FOUND ALIVE
This just in, good samaritan and civil rights activist Hitler von Adolfssen was found ALIVE today. Sad. Yesterday, I decided Hitler would die today. He didn't follow through, that bastard. Why do people never listen to me? Like Popular Hellen Keller, who just yelled in my face when I told her that she should die and be raped because she is a woman. Anyways, I talked to my friends today, and drank small orange. My good friend, orange smalls told me that I was a critter. He was later found alive, too. What the fuck. Can someone please help me stop this.
We need to end suicide. On January 16th, we should all band together and kill Suicide Johnson, that way Suicide Industries will go bankrupt. I went onto google.com and they called me a nigger. I respected them for saying it. Gangsta rap made me do it. I once fried a good dish, they told me not to. It used to be illegal to skimp on shrimp. They banned me from the block for this.
I was at the good restaurant this week, it was an experience. They poured me glass of future. I think they had meal. And lunch. Although it wasn't a lunch restaurant, it was meal restaurant. They banned me from the block for this.

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RECEIPT
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SALE
BATCH:001848
INV:422365

AUTH:020552
BASE........................................$1.00

TIP..............................................$π.00
TOTAL.............................................$30.00

Your fortune: Excellent Luck